Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
