Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
