i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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