i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
