Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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