Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
