i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
