For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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