I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
