looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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