Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
