Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
There r osticjed everywhere
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
