my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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