Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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