Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
