Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dick very happy bro
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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