God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
