dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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