New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
