Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
