there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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