That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
