if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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