Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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