My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
