I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
