i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
