I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
