the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
