Having a random hookup so left but love u
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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