At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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