Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
