Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
