He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize