her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
