He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
