i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
