im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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