she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think your dad took our porno
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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