whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
