last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Randomize
