yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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