If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize