ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
