dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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