Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
