Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
