I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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