My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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