Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
