i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
