you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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