Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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