Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
