Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
