Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
