Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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