...so i touched it.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize