I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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