I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
