About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
