We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
