THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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