ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
