I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
