i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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