She is in my trunk
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
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Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
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Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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